heartbreak music

Walk Away
Ben Harper

Oh no- here comes that sun again.
And (that) means another day without you my friend.
And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself.
And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.

And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away.

With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?
But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.

And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes - sometimes,
you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.

We've tried the goodbye so many days.
We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray.
They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free,
but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery.
They say time will make all this go away,
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.
And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down
And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found.

And it's so hard to do and so easy to say.
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door.
You just walk away - walk away - walk away.
You just walk away, walk on, turn and head for the door.


for the 24th

shifting

I just got back yesterday from another 10-day stint at a provincial hospital. As I lay in my bed completely maxed out all I could think about was that I was happy.

During my stay in the hospital I kept thinking I should keep a log of the cases I see. Common cases such as acute gastroenteritis, intestinal parasitism and pneumonia might not warrant too much attention. On the other hand, I certainly would like to look further into malaria, extensive PTB, TB meningitis, rabies infection, tetanus, sepsis, stroke and MI, and how to manage and recognize these diseases with limited resources.

X-rays and peripheral blood smears are readily available in the hospital. Ultrasounds can be scheduled or done on-call. Blood cultures are not available. For a 12-lead ECG you have to call private diagnostic centers in town for the technician to come to the hospital and do the ECG. Most of the time they are not available in the middle of the night. For a CT Scan you have to send the patient to Batangas. To get to Batangas the patient has to take a 40-minute drive, a 2 1/2-hour boat ride plus another 20-minute drive - a trip that not all of them might survive.

But I am not complaining. I cannot complain. At this point I am giving the best that I can give. It may not be the best care the patient can get elsewhere, but it is close to being the best they can get at that hospital.

People travel six to seven hours for a consultation. Some take a 4-hour trek down the mountain to bring their ailing children. You cannot blame these people for not coming to the hospital at the first sign of disease. You cannot blame them when they arrive at the hospital dehydrated, weak-looking or in cardiorespiratory distress. I know something has to be done to improve the health system. But at this point I am only capable of making do with the available resources.

This does not mean I am satisfied with what I'm doing. I know something more can and must be done. But I need to study more, train more and get more exposure to know what else can be done.

It is too early in my medical practice to make big changes. But it doesn't mean I'm not trying to make small changes.

Tired as I am, I'm looking forward to my provincial hospital shift next month.

Posted by lefthand at 8:22 PM

run/walk + music

I had a bad run/walk day today.

I was only planning to play ball in the afternoon to loosen up but since the ball mysteriously disappeared from the garage I was forced to run instead.

I hadn't primed myself for a run so early in the day. After two days of not running my muscles were tight. I was starting to get bored with my usual "house" run and was planning to take a different route. But as I started with my warm-up walk I kept getting phone calls about a relative's medication changes. In the end I decided to forgo trying out the new route.

An hour after the cool down my knees started aching a bit. As if the bad run was not enough, I had to make the mistake of having an inadequate pre- and post-run stretching. I hate to wake up tomorrow with sore thighs and knees.


There is one good thing about today's run though. I found new music to run to!

For some weird reason Uh Huh Her's brand of indie electropop is just right for my easy runs.

Too bad I couldn't find good videos of the electropop and synthy album versions. Here is the acoustic version of "Common Reaction" and a stripped down version of "Say So" instead.

love your heart

I may just be on week 3 of my running program but someday I'm going to run a marathon.